Not the Best Omen

Yesterday our baseball team opened up the play-offs against some suburban school who is ranked WAAAAAY higher than we are, but that’s the case every year and we usually give a pretty good fight. For example, two years ago we were a 12 seed and we played St. Thomas Academy, the 5 seed. We scored 1 in the 3rd inning, and held on until the 6th when our pitcher beaned the lead-off batter and gave up 2 runs, and we lost 2-1. Four years ago we lost to Woodbury 1-0, when their 2nd basemen made the greatest infield catch in the history of suburban white kids, robbing us of two runs. Last year we played a city school, and choked away a 4 run lead in the 5th when a bird pooped on our Right Fielder’s left eyeball and he dropped a lazy fly-ball. Nobody actually saw the bird, or the poop, but I don’t know how else he could have mishandled such an easy, routine pop-up.

One year later, yesterday, we’re getting ready to leave for Southeast Suburbia to take on the 4th seeded Salacious Subdudes; the bus is loaded up and I’m about to get on it myself when I hear the Head Coach call my name from our outfield. I look over to see him walking with our 9th grade coach who appears to be holding his hand up, as if he’s getting ready to receive communion, with one hand.

Turns out, he’s holding up his left hand because in it is the tip of his left pinky. Somehow he managed to get it lopped off while he was closing the door on our storage shed. Apparently the panels pinched together and removed the entire nail portion of his digit.

Thanks to mass media coverage, we all know what to do when someone loses a portion of his or her leg/arm/foot AND hand: you get some ice and place the detached portion on, or in, said ice. Our slightly lighter coach then drove himself to the Emergency Room and we hopped on the bus.

Once we arrived to the ball park things got progressively worse and we were 10-runned in five innings. South Suburban High only had about 5-6, $400 bats which were apparently more powerful than our sixty-dollar, Sam’s Club Specials. They were also bigger and more athletic than us.

Oh, and our 9th grade coach? They reattached his pinky and they said that it has an 80% chance of taking. Apparently, these odds were a little better than our chance of winning the day’s game.