Maybe the best show out there

If you haven't seen the show Mad Men yet, you're REALLY missing out. If you have been, then you should really enjoy this clip from SNL: Don Draper's guide to picking up women. Enjoy.

"I wanted the ball!"

Fantastic game tonight!!! Admittedly, I was pulling for the Bo-Sox. Mainly, because I hate watching games in that stupid Tropicrapa Dome. What a dump. However, to see this 'kid' come in the game, with bases loaded, in the bottom of the 8th, and shut the door, was pretty cool.

His name is David Price and last year he was pitching for Vanderbilt. He wasn't called up until the middle of September, and he looked like he was going for stroll down the beach. DAMN, he looked cool under pressure. What a performance. Furthermore, to come out in the 9th and completely extinguish the defending champs, especially given the Red Sox penchant for working that October Mo-jo, was the stuff of legends.

They asked him what he was thinking when he came into the game with the bases loaded, and back out for the 9th, he basically said: I WANTED THE BALL! (Screw the red sox, screw the fact that I didn't get ONE save all year, I... AM GOOD so give me the DAMN BALL!!!!)

MEET THE DOUCHEBAGS!!!!

Holy Bleepin CRAP!!!! Just look at these guys! "Hey Glenny, MAN! I got a fu_kin' great idea, MAN!: You know that retarded dude that lives up the street? Yeah, THAT guy, let's BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM!!!! It'll be sweet! But first, one more spin of the Biznack!!!" (the previous reenactment was solely based on my interpretation of an alleged beat-down by 4 white-trash dudes who thought it would be good times to beat up a mentally disabled dude, TWICE!!!, breaking his bones, and leaving him for who knows what.)


How in the hell could anyone have a good reason for this. The obvious one would be money for meth. But they beat this guy on TWO separate occasions!!! Although, these cowardly punks did manage to raid their victim's home for, get this, XBOX games.....wow. Another highlight is, as reported by the star tribune: One of those charged is employed by a Northfield organization that works with disabled adults. AWESOME!!!

Here's the caption for the above picture of these sub-humans, and here is the link to the article as it appears in the startribune.com: Jonathon Michael Diepold, 22; Glen Richard Ries, 33; John Maxwell Maniglia, 19, all of Northfield, and Timothy John Ketterling, 22, of Prior Lake.

Band of the Week for October 13, 2008

MGMT

Two guys from Brooklyn; formed their band while attending Wesleyan University, as freshmen. These guys have a great sound. See for yourself by clicking on the link to their video for "Time to Pretend" right here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVnRzEjpUmE

'Burban Babies

Once in a while BigZam likes to get a little political, but, when Blogging, does not like to gang up on one party or the other. More so, besides referring to himself in the 3rd person, he likes to gang up on idiocy. Here’s another attempt: I’m driving around town, with 89.3 the Current turned up and their news guy, Bob Collins comes on and he tells me about a heated battle of words taking place, in the race for Congress’ 3rd district, the one being vacated by Jim Ramstad.

Appalled, I went online and looked it up. Here’s what I found, as it is written at mpr.org (btw, after you read this, guess which guy pictured here is the suburban cry-baby):

Paulsen camp knocks Madia for lacking kids, mortgage
Posted at 6:00 PM on September 30, 2008 by Curtis Gilbert
Republican congressional candidate Erik Paulsen's campaign says his DFL opponent Ashwin Madia lacks the "suburban life experience" to represent Minnesota's 3rd District.

"Raising a family in the district, sending your kids to the public school, owning a home, working in the 3rd District, paying property taxes in the 3rd District. Erik Paulsen has done all these things. And Ashwin Madia has not," said state Sen. Geoff Michel, R-Edina, who spoke on behalf of the Paulsen campaign at a press conference today.

And Michel, argues those distinctions matter to voters.
"Do you feel what my family feels trying to save for college?" he asked. "Do you feel what my family feels sending our kids to public schools? When you talk about No Child Left Behind and the growth of the federal government's role in education, do you feel that as a father? These are all important, sort of minimum requirements for a member of Congress from the 3rd District."

Paulsen, 43, is a state legislator and father of four. Madia, 30, is a bachelor, and he's making his first run for office. He's also a lawyer and an Iraq war veteran.
"That is certainly something to be applauded, but it's not a shortcut to Congress," Michel said.

Wow

I love the last comment by Michel, about how being a military veteran and a lawyer is not a shortcut to Congress. Well, NEITHER IS HAVING A WIFE AND FOUR KIDS AND DRIVING YOUR ASS TO 8,000 SOCCER PRACTICES!!!

GEEZ!!! Even more beautiful is the opening line which states that Madia is lacking, “suburban life experience." Are you frickin’ serious?!?! OH, yeah, it’s sooooo tough living in the ‘burbs. I don’t know how anyone, manages it. You city folk have it SO EASY!!!! Look, I live in a suburb, and have TWO stinkin’ mini-vans, and 3 kids, THAT DOESN’T MAKE MORE QUALIFIED TO BE A CONGRESPERSON THAN JOE BACHELOR DOWN THE STREET!!!!

Furthermore, HE’s A WAR VETERAN, and you’re trying to tell me that he lacks SUBURBAN LIFE EXPERIENCES!!!! WTF!!?? Anyway, here's the link to the audio story. If nothing is below, head over to the links on the right side of the page: (NEVERMIND!!! I checked it out, and it is boring as hell)

"No, Cubs, No!"

For those of you who may not be familiar, the Chicago Cubs, the team that last won a World Series in 1908, play a song at Wrigley after every victory. To hear it, watch a slide-show video of it here:



After the latest choke job, Eric Zorn, writer/blogger for the Chicago Tribune, has suggested that the lyrics need to be changed. What are your suggestions?

Garry (yes, with two 'R's) in Chicago suggested this:

Just give it a new ending

"Hey, Chicago, what do you say?
The Cubs went out & sucked today!"

BigZam thinks this is pretty good, but it would sound better if you applied the following lyrics: "Blow, Cubs, Blow,....Blow, Cubs, Bloooowww."

This would also go well with: "The Cubs are gonna choke today!" (which is a lyric that some other Cub Fan suggested.

You might say that Cubs fans are little bitter. Just a little. If you need anymore evidence of this, check what this Cub fan had to say in the Tribune's website:

Well it's over - finally! Maybe now I can get some rest. I have been a Cubs fan for 38 years but that era ends today. I just can't do it anymore. I went to 21 games this year and I swear I will never go to another Cubs game ever - unless I am cheering for their opponent. There comes a time when you just have to let go - kind of like a parent watching thier drug addicted child go through rehab for the 10th time - enough is enough! It's just not fair to me to suffer again - I surrendor. I feel like I got dumped by a girlf that I really love - the only way to get over her is to start seeing someone else. I guess the best revenge is start dating the girl she hates the most which means, I hate to tell you, but from this day forward I am a Cardinals fan. No point in naming names of the culprits in this pathetic series - almost everyone on the roster contributed to the losses. My heart has been broken once again and I will not set myself up to ever feel this pain again - I am done with the Chicago Cubs forever!

Signed: Kevin Marschall
Chicago, IL

Well, at least he's not becoming a White Sox fan. I am so loving this man's anger. What are your thoughts?

Flub-a-dub-Cub

Wow. I guess the Sox sucked all the good karma in Chi-town. Quite the pounding Manny and the boys put on the North Enders. Me, well, my cable-less ass watched 2nd-4th innings in the Cardinal Bar, on 38th and Hiawatha Ave, in Minneapolis. Why the Cardinal? My son had soccer practice at the V.A. Medical Center and the Cardinal is not TOO far from there; and I was feeling nostalgic. I went there once before, about 15 years ago, with Kolin Knudson--one of my buddies from the St. Cloud State days. I remember putting a few beers down there before we went over to Tiff's on Ford Pkwy. I have no idea why we stopped at the Cardinal. If I remember right, we wanted to have a pretty good buzz on before we tried to pick up the uppity St. Thomas chicks at Tiff's. Which is stupid logic considering that nearly every chick at Tiff's is under 21, drunk, and not exactly a challenge. Unless of course you were me, or hanging out with me, in which case you had a zero chance of hooking up with any Tommy ladies. That's why I had to enroll there, and end up marrying one.

Where the hell was I? Oh yeah, the Cardinal. This place is a beauty. You're in Minneapolis but you might as well be in Danbury, Wisconsin. We're talking Meat Raffles (which are also prevalent throughout the East Side of St. Paul), thick accents and crappy-ass juke box music. Three times I had to shoo away the meat raffle lady. The raffle, btw, landed on '9' twice. The locals bitched about it too: "That's awfully fishy!" Thankfully, the 3rd spin of the meat raffle landed on 27 (no one pointed out that it was divisible by 9!!)

So the game's on, the Bar is blasting the audio so you can hear the play-by-play....PERFECT! But wait, some 25--going on 45--year old lady is approaching the juke box...NOOOOO!

OH YEAH, and her selections? They were as follows:

Song#1 Bon Jovi--I'll be there for you (Are you FU_king kidding me?! Who likes, much less plays bon jovi? And of all the Jovi tunes to play....PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!! I didn't feel so bad when, in the 2nd God-Forbidden stanza, Mark DeRosa hit a 2 run homer; it would be the Cubs only runs.)

Song#2 Patsy Cline--Crazy (About 10 million levels better than bon jizzi. I was feeling a bit more optimistic of the possible subsequent tunes upon hearing this. I was grossly mistaken.)

Song#3 Phil Collins--In the Air Tonight (Why?! Why do you play songs that you liked in 7th grade, when all you knew, and listened to, was KQRS? MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!! I swear I heard this lady tell her impressed friends: "He wrote this after he watched some guy kill a dude; and THEN...he played it years later with the murderer in the crowd!" "NO WAYYYYY!!!" was the response. Too bad the Cardinal Bar bans guns on the premises.)

And the Coup de Gras? Song#4 Dolly Parton & the Gambler--Islands in the Stream
The worst part, of course, is when the song is over you start humming the satanic verses that make up this most evil tune. I'm sure that Islands is some sort of perverted sexual innuendo.
Listen for yourself, as I have done you the favor of attaching the video, below. You're welcome.