This is probably one those stories that is funnier when given in the oral fashion, but here goes. Just this morning I was enjoying some alone time while my wife, Mary, took our daughter to her weekly swimming lesson, and the two boys were out playing in the rain and mud. I had just returned from the local convenient store with my Saturday Pioneer Press when two well dressed Latino looking dudes showed up on my door step.Now, when two well dressed gentlemen show up on your door step, you can bet your sweet religious ass that they are going to be pawning off their Christian beliefs in hopes of converting you from your present religious state of affairs.
However, when I first fixed my eyes on these Hispanic gentlemen I was hopeful that their visit would be free of religious overtones and messages. I mean, c’mon, how often do you see Mexican Mormons, or Oaxacan Jehovahs? Foolish, foolish BigZam.
Well, the conversation went as follows: (OMD=Older Mexican Dude, YMD=Younger Mexican Dude, BigZam=Me.)
BigZam walks down the stairs as his son runs out the door and steps on the foot of YMD.
BigZam: Hello?
OMD (half-smiling): Yes, um, do you speak Spanish?
BigZam: Well, un poquito. My old man is from Chihuahua, but he wasn’t around much…
YMD: (smiling like he’s just smoked half-a-bag of Acapulco Gold)
OMD: (interrupts BigZam) we have your name and address down as being Hispanic…
YMD: (still smiling)
BigZam: That’s because I am, Zamacona is Hispanic, it’s just that I haven’t, well I took a semester of it at St. Cloud State, but that was a long time ago and even then I…
YMD: (still smiling)
OMD: We are having a church service, but it is in Spanish. Have you heard of Jesus Christ?
BigZam: Ummm, let me see…the name REALLY sounds familiar….Yeah, I’ve heard rumors of some Jesus Christ guy.
YMD: (still smiling)
OMD: He’s the Son of God?
BigZam: THAT’s right! I knew I heard of him: ….the Son of God. Great!!!
OMD: But the service is in Spanish
BigZam: Darn it!
YMD: (still smiling (what I wouldn’t give to have whatever he’s been inhaling))
OMD: Do you know anyone else on this block who speaks Spanish?
BigZam: On THIS block? I reeeeeally doubt it. Lo Siento (“I’m sorry.” Aren’t you impressed with BigZam’s Español?)
OMD: Eeees O.K. Good Bye.
BigZam: Adiós! Muchas Gracias!
OMD and the YMD, who has now been labeled as the Mexican Jeff Spicoli, walk away.
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3 comments:
professor howdy,
REALLY? TAKE MORE SPACE UP!!!
Zams, Great story.
Your non-Korean speaking buddy.
Great story Z!! At least they weren't trying to set your house up as a Methamphetamine distributorship, as the Mexicans in Spring Lake Park do. I would welcome the fellows from your neighborhood into mine.
I gotta confess, I will follow the teachings of Dee Snider and Twisted Sister who suggested "Stay away from Captain Howdy." I think if the boys had run into the professor howdy, they might have issued a similar instruction.
Great stuff, Biggun. Really good stuff.
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